On Monday evening, a lovely summer evening at Scoville Park, hundreds gathered to remember and celebrate Gillian Lundgren. The vast majority of the crowd was young women, students at OPRF, who had been befriended by, watched out for, reached back for by this remarkable young person, Gillian Lundgren.
Not quite two weeks ago, Lundgren died by suicide. And that reality was present and acknowledged Monday by the many young women who spoke so eloquently and lovingly of their friend at the vigil. Violet Harper, a fellow cross-country runner, called her friend “a very special girl whose generosity was boundless.”
She described Lundgren as having a vibrancy and passion for life, that her “ongoing acceptance of others was endless,” who “lived life fully and all in.” Speaking to Gillian, she said, “I know you are here. That you can see all of this.”
And then she said, “We may never be able to ask her why. But her spirit is alive. Her brightness, we need to keep this alive in us.”
There were adults who spoke. Angela Dolezal, Lundgren’s principal at Longfellow School, talked about “the sadness and the grief we all feel,” but said “look at all the people here as we celebrate her life.”
Speaking to the girls in the crowd, she said, “I encourage each and every story. From church, from camp, sleepovers and classes.” Share those memories, she said.
Dave Benson was Lundgren’s track coach at Percy Julian Middle School. He talked about all the parents he had heard from after he shared the news of Gillian’s death. The singular response he said was “how special she made their daughters feel as (newbie) sixth graders. She reached back for them,” he said and those parents recognized it, appreciated it and remembered it.
His advice to his former students was simple. “Kindness and friendship is free and it is easy. Be kind. Be a friend.”
Monday night was all about kindness and friendship. This was a late summer reunion of OPRF’s young women. Many wore the T-shirts of their sport. They clustered and they hugged. The small groups formed and then reformed. There was laughing and later there were tears. When speakers faltered with emotion, teammates gathered around them on the riser in support.
Talking this past week with moms of young teens who had known Gillian, I heard the worry and the compassion for her family and for their own. There were the necessary and healthy conversations about suicide, about always communicating and never knowing.
And through it all were the affirmations for Gillian Lundgren, for her well-lived life, for her loving family.
I met her dad, Clyde, just once, at a parent-teacher conference. He is a science teacher and coach at OPRF. Several years back our daughter was in his chemistry class. Mariah is unlikely to become a scientist. But she was game because he was game for making their way through that semester. It was not pretty, but it was beautiful. This was a man who knew kids in all their strengths and failings.
My prayers to this family. My prayers for our community, for our strong and fragile children, for the parents and teachers and coaches who support them.
