The movie about Trumpland will eventually be made, but will it be a comedy, tragedy or tragicomedy? It could also be an opera, since the settings in Trumpland — costumes, hairdos, lush sets and histrionics — certainly lend themselves to opera.
We can’t depend forever on Saturday Night Live to carry the moral and comedic weight: Kate McKinnon can’t play everyone!
I’ve been noodling about the cast for a tragicomedy, so I called upon friends for suggestions, and as usual, they were brilliant. I told them it could be any actor, living or dead, male or female, that they thought was an inspired choice. The suggestions range from perfect to perfectly absurd, all of which I love.
First there’s my favorite, Anthony Scaramucci (oh, Mooch, we hardly knew ye). He should only be played by Al Pacino, so the hair and makeup people will have to do their magic. I’ll admit I did like the suggestion of John Travolta (and he can dance in case Mooch’s brief tenure becomes a musical pastiche), and I think Mark Wahlberg or Tom Cruise also have the chops to do crazy.
Then, of course, there’s the boss, President Trump. Most people said Alec Baldwin had a lock on it, but not as his over-the-top SNL character. Baldwin is just a great actor and will be a perfect Trump, although several of us liked Jeff Bridges.
The late Yul Brynner would have a lock on Putin, but Beck Bennett, who plays Putin on SNL, will have to do.
I’m torn between Alan Cumming of The Good Wife or Maya Rudolph for Melania Trump. I also like Trevor Noah and Drake as the two older sons. I picture scenes where Trump is with his family and every time he looks at the sons, he does a double take and then looks at Melania/Maya. If Hollywood doesn’t like the joke, I’ll go with Zac Efron and Justin Bieber as the sons.
When it comes to other females, let’s face it, Kate McKinnon still can’t play every one of them. One of my besties suggested drafting the cast of Housewives of Beverly Hills. My niece liked Goldie Hawn for Kellyanne Conway, although I think Jennifer Lawrence has the acting chops to be perfect.
I think I’ll shift Melissa McCarthy from Sean Spicer to Sarah Huckabee Sanders. Alas, poor Sean, we loved you well, though we loved Melissa more, especially when she was “on a roll.”
If you are not a political junkie you may not be familiar with Stephen Miller, the very conservative and well-groomed version of Bannon. Thanks to the genius who suggested Pee Wee Herman to play Miller.
Let’s talk about Trump’s beloved generals, or as he calls them “my generals.” I personally need to have Christopher Walken, Jack Nicholson and Bill Murray in this movie, so I suggest they talk amongst themselves and divvy up the roles. Or one of them could play all three roles and just change makeup.
I think Ivana Trump, the first wife, should have a role, and I’m liking Helen Mirren. I visualize a morning scene. Trump throws a fit while getting dressed and Ivana, cotton candy hair and blue fur coat, is called in as the only one who knows how to do Trump’s hair the way he likes it. Melania smokes a cigarette and curses them both in another language. Alternately, Ivana and Melania could have a conversation about “himself” in yet another language.
And then there’s Bannon. I said living or dead, so I would choose Marlon Brando, but Jack Nicholson would be wonderful, and I also like Louis CK and Lewis Black.
Hillary deserves someone who will do a great job with both her strengths and weaknesses: so Meryl Streep.
People liked Sam Elliot for Rex Tillerson, but I just have to go with Will Ferrell for Tillerson, and Sam Elliot for Bill Mueller, the chief investigator (as of now).
Before this is over, there will be lots of investigators, reporters, Russians and mistresses who become household names. Alan Dershowitz will weasel his way in somehow: maybe Woody Allen will play him, if in fact Dershowitz isn’t defending Allen in another unseemly lawsuit.
Jeff Sessions brought out some silky silliness: Kate McKinnon, Dana Carvey, Betty White (mine).
You will note that I have not cast two major players, Ivanka or Jared Kushner. They are just too hard to pin down. Anyway, by the time the movie is made, they’ll probably be in a witness protection program.