June 29, 1972 was the date on which the U.S. Supreme Court issued its first attempt to wrestle the death penalty to the ground in Furman v. Georgia. Of course it didn’t succeed but each of the nine justices wrote an opinion, trying to make sense of an awful reality.

Cap on, goggles raccooning my eyes, I stand shivering in the shallows, and then hop in place, hop a little deeper, but still refuse the jolt of full submersion. Past the backstroke flags I start to swim, head bobbing above the scrim. No matter how often I come here to Ridgeland Pool, my body resists, never trusting, never believing that this is what it wants, what it needs.