I’m willing to bet everyone reading this knows a giver, a taker, and a matcher, even if you’ve never heard those terms before. Coined by organizational psychologist Adam Grant, these reciprocity styles describe three distinct ways people interact with others, professionally and personally. Grant (and I) strongly believe that aligning with one of these styles is a major key to professional success.
During college, I took a course focused on the value of investing in human capital and we were assigned to read Give and Take by Adam Grant. Throughout the book, Grant argues that success is increasingly driven not only by your individual talent or effort, but by how we interact with others: whether we choose to give, take, or match.
Givers are people who consistently help others without expecting anything in return.
Takers seek to gain more than they contribute and put their own interests first.
Matchers aim to make even exchanges – they help others but always expect something in return.
Using a mix of research, statistics, and real-life case studies, Grant makes a compelling case as to why strategic givers often achieve the highest levels of success in the long-term.
If you reflect on your personal and professional life, where do you see yourself fitting in among the three styles of reciprocity? In my experience, it’s much easier to be a giver with friends and family – people you already have a good relationship with – than it is to do so with potential clients or coworkers. But Grant’s research argues that being a giver in professional settings is extremely critical for long-term success, for a variety of reasons. Here are three that I found most powerful.
Givers build strong, trust-based relationships and develop a reputation that uniquely stands out in a positive way. They create a ripple effect of generosity by inspiring others to give, which creates positive dynamics within their different environments and interactions. Their success compounds over time as they build a network of quality relationships that keeps on giving back to them, even though they are giving with no expectation of reciprocity.
Sure, takers might win in the short-term, using deceitfulness and promising more than can be delivered. But their reputation catches up with them quickly. Givers may not see immediate payoffs, but their earnest actions pay dividends and they always surpass takers in the end.
But I get it, truly giving with zero expectations of getting anything in return is difficult. It’s a mindset shift, and something you have to be actively striving to improve. It takes time. Yet over time, it will change the way people see you, the way your environments function and your whole world will transform in a positive way.
So who in your life is a true giver, and what can you learn from them? Follow in their footsteps, start giving more than you take – and you’ll be surprised just how far it takes you.
In a world that often rewards taking, it’s the givers who achieve monumental success and build legacies that last.
Eli Lauger is an Oak Park resident.
