Last Saturday’s “No Kings” rally was the best yet, the first gathering following a long winter. It was deeply gratifying to see so many people who still care about this country and what it stands for, which was splashed all over their protest signs:
“Law is King, Trump is Not”
“What a Faux-King Joke”
“No Kings in America Since 1776”
“America Means No Kings”
“Here’s the Thing: No King”
“Fire the Mad King”
“No Crown for the Orange Clown”
“People Rise, ICE Melts, Kings Fall”
“We Want No King, No War, No More”
“No King No, Hey Chicago, Whadda Ya Say, Trump Has Got to Go Today” (sung with gusto by a cluster of Cubs fans with a nod to the late, great Steve Goodman, who would have had a thing or two to say, or sing, about Donald Wannabe)
And the one that really caught my eye: “King of Lies, Greed, Cruelty, Incompetence” which sparked a revelation: Trump really is King. In so many ways.
He’s the King of Tantrums, of Treason, of Insurrection.
The King of Infantile Behavior and No Impulse Control.
The King of Thieves, Bribery, Braggadacio, Historical Ignorance.
AND THE KING OF ALL CAPS!!!
Trump is, indeed and in deeds, the King of Cruelty, Resentment, Massive Insecurity, Payback.
The King of Conniving, Weaseling, Exploitation, Bullying, Ruthlessness, Shamelessness. The King of Stalling, Litigation and Lawsuits, Sexual Assault, Unbridled Exaggeration.
He’s the King of Liars and Corrupt Lawyers and Unjust Judges, the King of Naming Rights (and Wrongs), the King of Bankruptcy (Financial, Intellectual, Emotional, and Moral).
The King of Queens (Beauty Pageant variety and Borough of New York, where he never “grew up” and probably couldn’t be elected dog-catcher).
Trump is the King of MAGA (Many A Groveling Asswipe) Billionaires. And MAGA (Monstrous Adults Groping Adolescents). And MAGA (Making America Greedy Again).
He is King of the Run-on Sentence and Overlong Incoherent Oratory, the King of Hypocrites Claiming to Be Christians (whom Jesus would have cast out of the temple).
The King of Unintended Tragi-Comic Consequences (no sense of humor, doesn’t get the joke, even on April Fools’ Day).
King of the Inconsolable and Disgruntled, of Dictator Jock Sniffers, KKK, Birthers, Flat-Earthers, John Birchers, Luddites, America-First Isolationists, Replacement Theorists, Border Closers, White Supremacists, New Secessionists, Survivalists, Q Anon Conspiracists, Alt-Right Wing Nuts.
King of Monarchists, Elon Muskivites, Apocalyptics, Misogynistics, Seditionists, Transphobes, Same-Sex Hysterics.
He’s the King of Darkness, the King of Nihilism, the King of Making it Up, the King of Patriarchy, the King of Put-Downs (and kicking people when they’re down), the King of Humiliation, the King of Feathering his Nest at Others’ Expense.
The King of Power with No Responsibility, No Accountability, and above all, Above the Law.
The King of Uncontrolled Burns and Scorched-Earth Politics, Non-Creative Destruction, Constitutional Destitution with No Restitution.
The King of Id, Bloated Ego and no trace of Superego (imagine Freud’s field day).
He’s the King of Evasion (truth, taxes, criminal investigations, paying his bills).
The King of Long Ties and Tiny … Humanity. King Kong Ding Dong with Fay Wray wrapped in his grimy mitt. He’s King of the KKKK (Krazy Klown Kar Kabinet).
King of Sedition and Duty Dereliction, the Oath-Free King, the King of Executive Orders and Declaring War.
King of Radioactive Reactivity, Power-Tripping and Blown Fuses.
The Anti-Martin Luther King.
He’s the Regal Eagle of the Illegal, 34 felonies and counting, and all things Dishuman, King of the Lesser Angels of our Nature.
Donald J. (Jackass?) Trump the Second (time around), Self-Obsessed, Self-Aggrandizing, Self-Applauding, Self-Pardoning, Self-Crowned King of Renown, Self-Ordained Pain in the Patoot, Self-Incriminating King for Life (unless we find a way to dethrone him).
Or as one of the signs last Saturday so pithily put it (above a photo of a different kind of throne):
“Royal Flush.”