Every day, the church bell tower near Lake Street and Kenilworth Avenue marks the passing of time. I can hear the bells from my desk –– an unexpected comfort in this transitional year –– the year we uprooted our life in England to return to our beloved Oak Park.
During the last four years, my days were filled with the sounds of magical Oxford –– birds always singing, boats on the River Thames and bikes on the towpath announcing their presence through horns and dings, and always the bells would ring. We lived a normal, everyday existence in not-so-normal surroundings. We carried home groceries past centuries-old stone buildings. In taking the children to school, we cycled with double-decker buses across the famed Folly Bridge. And we met up with friends at one of the many historical pubs. In Oxford, with its cobblestone streets, longstanding bookstores, and world-class museums, the air always tingles with possibility –– to learn, create, and dream.
We moved to Oxford for my husband to pursue his PhD, but I spent the time dreaming and healing. Shortly before our move to England (mid-2020), I uncovered trauma from my childhood. While that is another story for another day, the result was that my life fell apart. I couldn’t care for myself or my children. I couldn’t function in the day-to-day. I couldn’t remain as I had always been. I needed to break from the constraints I had unknowingly carried for decades and dare to believe I wasn’t a burden or that my passions weren’t ridiculous.
When I learned the truth about my past, I was suddenly free to dream about my future.
And then we moved to Oxford, the City of Dreaming Spires.
And I dreamed of writing, of creating art, of hosting meaningful gatherings in beautiful settings, of starting a bookstore, of being confident, of setting a strong example for my three young children.
And I started to grow.
I started writing. I practiced watercoloring. I researched brick-and-mortar bookstores (part of my 5-year plan). And I decided to start a business to create and host beautiful events and gatherings.
But I couldn’t fully pursue those dreams in Oxford.
Oxford is the City of Dreaming Spires, but for me it was not the City of Realized Dreams. It felt like a fantasy world, a beautiful dream, the setting for a long chapter of my life, and a place to find healing before returning to the “real” world –– my real world — of Oak Park.
So here I am –– four years older, more whole –– starting the next chapter of my life. A chapter where I become a woman entrepreneur. I plan to carry the dreams and beauty of Oxford into my business –– Myrtle & Sage Events. I hope my children watch me both struggle and succeed. And as I settle into America, missing England, I’m grateful for the small reminder of those magical years every time the bells ring on the corner of Lake Street and Kenilworth Avenue.
Shelby Wagner, an Oak Park resident, is a mom of three children between the ages of 2 and 7, considers herself an amateur hobbyist.