I live just down the street from Rehm, and walk through the park almost every day. I wonder how old a child should be to play in the park all by themselves?
A lovely little girl was dancing alone around the tennis court as I walked by. Then I saw two men get out of their car and go onto the tennis court, which she wisely left. Thankfully they left after picking up a container of tennis balls they had forgotten. I was still worried about her being alone in the park. She started climbing trees, and I asked her where her mom or dad were.
She got shy, and I invited her to lead me to her mom. “Please go ahead. I will follow you, and it’s OK, I won’t touch you.” She went from skipping to sprinting. Following her to the very crowded playground, I had to look around before I found her crying in her mother’s arms. It hurt, and I apologized.
“I didn’t mean to scare anyone,” I said, “but I was worried because she was alone.” The mom looked at me with understanding while nodding. That sweet little girl couldn’t have been more than 6 years old.
I wouldn’t have been sure it was my child over in the tennis court if I was waiting in the crowded playground, which is a block and a half away. And I probably wouldn’t have noticed the men getting out of their car. You don’t have to be out in the woods somewhere in New York State for someone to kidnap your child.
I am long retired, yet there are things you never forget. I am a pastor and family therapist, and for years my ministry was caring for children who had been sexually abused. God kept sending them to me for counseling, and I learned a lot of sad stuff. One in five children will be molested before they turn 18. Pedophiles con kids into believing that whatever happened was completely the child’s fault, not theirs. And no one will believe them if they tell anyone.
Some child molesters will admit to abusing two or three kids — or even 30 or 40. And you and I may have never met, but — surprise — we look a lot like the people who molest our children.
Please stay close enough to your little ones so you can see and hear each other. When you can’t stay with them in the park, make sure they are not alone. I believe threesomes are better than buddies, because if someone gets hurt, one child can stay with their friend while the other child goes to find help. And, yes, four or five playmates is even better — after all, the more the merrier!
Sorry if this made you anxious, but I always want every child to be happy and safe wherever they are. After all, I do have grandkids, whose parents grew up playing in Rehm Park, to worry about.
Marnie Rourke is a retired pastor and therapist who lives in Oak Park.
