Editor’s note: Local Chamber of Commerce program manager Mark Walden sent out the following notice about Takeout Stakeout lunch at Kyuramen on May 27. Even though it’s after the fact, we thought it made for a good read.
Scientific assumption #1: My wife is a mental health therapist, and she tells me that the brain continues to develop until about age 25, and then begins to decline. By her own admission, this means her brain has been in decline for about a quarter-century, so her logic kind of undermines its own credibility. But let’s assume she’s right — she still usually seems to be.
Scientific assumption #2: It’s also common knowledge that “you are what you eat,” which is very logical and probably has something to do with the law of preservation of matter. How can you be anything you don’t eat, right? How would it get into you to become you? You also breathe air in, I suppose, but the bathroom scale tells me I’m probably not made of air. So, we’re made of food.
Humanities meets science: So we’ve scientifically established that we are what we eat, and our brains are in decline. So to keep from getting dumb, we should eat something that will help, right? But what? And here’s where my own expertise in the humanities comes in: There’s a saying, “Use your noodle,” referring to your brain, which no doubt reflects insightful folk wisdom about our brains — they’re all kinda pale and twisty all around each other, correct? And aren’t the longest-living people in the world in Japan, where they eat lots of noodles, which must help keep their brains working?
Scientific conclusion: Brains therefore must be made of noodles, and we need to eat them to stay smart.
Practical application: Even the most solid science like this is useless unless applied, so we’ve got to do something with this important health information I’ve just shared. Fortunately, the Chamber of Commerce is here to help: we’ve planned a Takeout Stakeout lunch trip to KyuRamen on Friday, May 27.
If you’ve got other plans already and you’re under 25 years old, no problem, you’ve got time. But otherwise … don’t be dumb! See you at KyuRamen!
This message co-sponsored by the Newly Organized Network for the Study of Etymoloy, Neurology, and Scientific Eating (kindly ignore the acronym, it’s just a coincidence the letters came out that way).
Mark Walden, Chamber of Commerce of OP-RF
