What remarkable courage and selflessness two of our community’s young women have displayed in sharing their stories of abuse on YouTube! [Longtime Fenwick teacher accused of misconduct, News, April 6]
I am hoping that, for a moment, we as a community can pause to honor their stories, their pain, and most importantly their commitment to turning their suffering into a call to action to prevent any more children from being harmed by their alleged abuser.
So thank you, Ms. Quinn-Pasin. Thank you, Ms. Seavey. Know that you have done no small thing and that your self-sacrifice will have long-lasting benefits for the multitude of other victims who suffer in silence having not yet found their own voices.
Currently, the most under-reported crimes in our country are sexual violence, sexual abuse, and sexual harassment. The tragic reasons for this underreporting are clearly recounted by these articulate young women (and also by brave respondents on YouTube): When victims report their abuse, more often than not they themselves suffer more consequences than their abuser. They are not believed, they are bullied, often publicly shamed, and they are subjected to the trauma of recounting their stories over and over to authority figures who display disbelief and even contempt for their reporting.
And while it should be unthinkable, their abuser is allowed to continue to intimidate them without any retribution. This whole process is called re-victimization. Its consequences are lifelong and devastating — often leading to depression, anxiety, addictions, self-loathing, shame, and all too often, suicide.
Thus, it is all the more important for us to honor Helen and Emma for standing tall in the face of their humiliations and betrayals. In a very real sense they have taken upon themselves the work that responsible adults who were charged with the safety of children had abdicated.
I would like to encourage all of us, whenever and wherever we can, to remind our young people that we know it is likely they will witness sexual harassment and abuse and, should they become victims, we will always support them when they come forward to report their experiences.
(By the way, the rate of false claims is the same as false claims of any type of crime, i.e. false claims of sexual crimes are no more common than false claims of robbery, burglary, home invasion, etc. And of course alleged perpetrators should be granted due process.)
For the victims of all ages who have suffered in silence, know that very many of us hope that, when you are ready, you will seek the help of professionals, community agencies, and trusted loved ones to find your own voices and begin to heal.
Finally, I want to wish the parents and loved ones of these two fine young women peace in their hearts as they too heal the trauma of their children’s abuse. I am hoping you find comfort in knowing your community is grateful for the grace and courage with which your daughters have gifted us all.
Marian Sassetti MD, FAAFP is the Illinois Academy of Family Physicians content expert in education on sexual harassment and gender-based violence.