April Fools’ Edition
First, in early March, he re-fashioned his costume to go from Triple S to Triple C.
Now, Super Shopper Spotter has altered the meaning of his Triple S designation entirely. At a hastily called news conference at Stevenson Park on Thursday, our intrepid local hero announced that he will henceforth be known as Super Skateboarder Stopper.
“I realize this may come as a shock, a surprise and perhaps even shenanigans,” said the incorrigibly alliterative Stopper (nee Spotter). “But think about the economic stimulus that will follow the halting of skateboard activities. Fewer youngsters on skateboards can mean more time to purchase various and sundry items from our diverse mix of businesses.”
Between Thanksgiving and Christmas 2009, as part of Oak Park’s Shop the Village program, the Caped Crusader of Commerce boldly awarded $25 gift cards to more than 80 shoppers throughout the community.
Then, he shocked the B-level superhero underworld when he ditched the Triple S shirt to help promote the Census 2010 Rally at Oak Park and River Forest High School as well as at Oak Park Village Hall.
For that one day, he had seemingly abandoned his Triple S heritage in favor of a cheap fling as Triple C (Census Count Crusader).
Curiously, however, he retained the Triple S cape and “S” wristbands. At the time, he shrugged off the seeming contradiction by rationalizing the S’s were for “Super Statistical Summarizer,” in relation to population count.
Only now is it clear that he never intended to abandon the 19th letter of the alphabet.
After concluding his remarks – “one small step for Triple S, one giant leap for merchant-kind in Oak Park!”- Triple S trotted over in his trademark red boots to the skateboard section of Stevenson Park.
There, he confronted his new nemeses: baggy pants-wearing youth who eyed him skeptically.
“Skateboarding sojourners!” he was heard to bellow. “How much cash do you have in your pockets? Pick up your vehicles and get thee to a local business!”