The dog needs a haircut, and so do we. He’s not getting one until he gets a job, though. We cut our own hair to save money; we’re certainly not going to spend $35 on him until he’s proven he can pull his own weight. All 19 pounds of it.

So now he’s complaining he has nothing to wear to job interviews. Fortunately, it’s Economy Shop day again on Thursday, April 6, from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m., at 103 S. Grove Ave. (383-2449). We can probably pick up something used but nice for him to wear, so he can make a good impression.

If he doesn’t complain too much about having to try things on, like most guys do, we’ve promised to bring him along to the Literacy Volunteers of Western Cook County Eighth Annual Spell-A-Thon (848-8499) on Thursday, April 6, at 6 p.m. in the Holley Court Terrace Building, 1111 Ontario St. We need someone’s hand … er, paw to hold, as this event will bring back unpleasant memories of our own last spelling bee, in fifth grade in Syracuse, N.Y. We got through “meringue” but failed on the next word which, for the life of us, we can’t remember. Our fear is that the LVWCC event will suddenly unlock the repressed word, sending us into paroxysms of tears and spluttering spelling attempts. Could be embarrassing. The dog should help to defray focus.

Norman’s staying home, though, when we go to the Lake Theatre on Thursday, April 6, at 6:30 p.m. for the Pleasant Home Foundation’s benefit showing of Ballets Russes, a documentary about the artists who gave birth to modern ballet. He’d insist on wearing a tutu. Now that’s embarrassing.

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