Voting is a lot like parenting: you do it, but you’re not sure it does any good. I vote in every election, but I have no illusions. I know that most of our elected officials care most about getting re-elected and getting the best table at Gibson’s. As a result, important issues like global warming, dependence on fossil fuels and health care for all Americans are not serious problems to be solved, but the means to manipulate voters. Fortunately, the Body Politic is pretty resilient and it can withstand the twin insults of the Democrats and Republicans.
As you can tell, I am a little cynical, but the fact that I keep closing the curtain, and casting my ballot, suggests that I am an optimist. Maybe this will be the year. On March 21 we get to do this all over again.
I actually have a plan this year. Absent some extraordinary circumstances, I am voting against all the incumbents. They had their chance, so now it’s time to let some one else have a chance. As a result, I’m voting for Jim Ascott over Danny Davis, the incumbent in the Democratic primary for U.S. Representative. Mr. Davis’ slogan is “Let’s Keep Moving Forward!” If his slogan was “It’s Not My Fault,” I would have considered him.
In the Democratic primary for governor, if John Wayne Gacy were opposing Governor Blowdryavitch I would consider Rod, but since Gacy is not opposing him, I’m for the other guy.
Same for Cook County Board President. I’m for Forrest Claypool because I’m slightly less sure that he is corrupt. I’m more certain about John Stroger. Also, I think it is weak that Mr. Stroger named a hospital for himself while he is still living. If Michael Jordan doesn’t have a building named for him while he’s alive, then surely John Stroger shouldn’t have a building named for him.
One exception to this turn-out-the-rascal-incumbents is Don Harmon. He has the most signs in people’s yards, so I think I’ll vote for him.
Finally, there’s a woman named Debra Shore who is running for Metropolitan Water Reclamation District. In her literature she notes that even her name, Shore, bespeaks her watery commitment. I wonder how she would handle her last name if it was Sewage?
Of course, all of this is the appetizer for the main course?#34;next year’s village elections. Reading the letters to the paper, that campaign has already begun. Mr. Milstein has taken a novel approach to his re-election candidacy. It was reported that he was tempted not to run for re-election as trustee in 2007, but if VMA members continue to attend board meetings and say mean things, he might change his mind.
This vengeful approach to politics provides evidence for a theory I have entertained that especially in local politics the key considerations are personal. People run for school board because their kid got cut from the basketball team. People run for village office because they were not slated by one of the political parties. If you’re for it, then I’m against it. That sort of thing.
I would request that the VMA and those others who would criticize Mr. Milstein take his offer seriously. If he, and his fellow board members, can saddle us with the Colt building, you can only imagine what he might come up with if he gets really mad.
However, as a lawyer, I do have one bit of advice: get it in writing.
