Now that the Christmas (sorry, Holiday) decorations have been put away and the gifts have been returned, it is time to give serious consideration to New Year’s Resolutions.
I’m tired of doing New Year’s Resolutions because I’m always disappointed when I fail to achieve them. While it is true that dunking a basketball was a bit ambitious, I really could have gone to the ballet or symphony. So in order to avoid future disappointment, I’ve decided to suggest New Year’s Resolutions for other people.
For my son, Phil: When you come home from college, park the car on the left side of the garage. Always. No exceptions. No questions. Just do it. Please.
For my wife, Marsha, and her female friends: Buy fewer “little gifts.” Our house is becoming a decorative landfill with little candles, little books, little vases, little pictures, little baskets?#34;all kinds of little stuff. If something in female DNA requires this gifting, then give each other little Dominick’s or Jewel gift cards.
For the village board: Resolve to have all meetings end by 10 p.m. That will force everybody to stay on point and avoid posturing, blathering and personal-philosophizing.
For District 200: Resolve to not spend money like drunken sailors. Just because you can tax and spend you don’t have to tax and spend. Whatever happened to the old adage of saving money for a rainy day?
For the neighbors who oppose stadium lights at the high school: Give up. The lights are coming eventually, so negotiate a protocol that works. Just remember all the blacksmiths who opposed the automobile.
For Wednesday Journal: Less coverage of the Colt building’s fate and the discipline disparity at the high school. These stories have become boring. However, I do have solutions to both. As for the Colt building, knock it down. As for the discipline disparity, track the number of punishments for the first semester and if there are statistical differences, then give the black kids amnesty and/or just discipline more white kids in the second semester so that when June rolls around the numbers all work. Problem solved.
You all can do this if you put your minds to it. Good luck. Happy New Year!
