Foreign countries are supposed to be just that, foreign. I never expected that foreignness would become such a huge part of my life. Our business contract in Cairo, Egypt, was meant to be a trip that would make us a lot of money and give us pictures of the Pyramids to hang on our wall. We never bargained for an Egyptian son-in-law.
Instead of simply facilitating soft-skill training classes and going home with the experience of a lifetime, my youngest daughter, Sarah, fell in love with and married, Ehab, our company tour guide, driver and bodyguard. Different cultures and religions are interesting to read about and visit. But it’s a whole other story when they become family.
You Married a What? has two parts: me coping in Egypt and Ehab surviving America. It begins when my husband Jeff and I land in the bustling, loud city of Cairo. From the get-go, Jeff and I are at odds. I’m terrified we’ll be kidnapped, and Jeff is high-fiving everyone, including Ehab. It’s only later in the book when Ehab romances Sarah that the high-fiving stops and I wish I had been kidnapped.
It’s not just me that finds living with a different culture challenging, Ehab does as well. At the end of every chapter, we hear Ehab’s point of view; what it’s like for him to protect American tourists in Cairo, and what it’s like to be an immigrant living over here.
Being an immigrant is not easy. I should know, I am one. I was born in Manchester, England, lived in Italy for a while, and came to America in 1983. Even though English is my first and only language, it’s remarkable how many times I was misunderstood, embarrassed and felt alone. Abbot and Castello’s “Who’s On First” routine had nothing on me. Asking for butter in a grocery store went around and around so many times, a small gawking crowd gathered. Clarity came when I wisely chose to spell it out, “Can you please tell me where the B.U.T.T.E.R. is?” To which the crowd replied, “Oh, BUDDA! You mean budda.”
As a tourist in Cairo, it didn’t go any smoother. I was thrown out of a mosque for being a woman, stopped by the “antique police” for being a supposed thief and taken to the desert to be exorcised by a “magic man.” Who knew I had a ghost living inside my body?
Poor Ehab had similar run-ins when he arrived in America — getting lost in a grocery store, being robbed at gunpoint, and navigating American greetings (Egyptians don’t hug the opposite sex unless they are family).
I recently overheard someone say, “Why would anyone write about their family secrets?” With everything going on in the world right now, from MAGA to Brexit to numerous wars, I wanted to write about the experiences of immigrants. We’re all here by the Grace of Whomever we believe in: God, Allah, Mom and Dad. If we don’t acknowledge, empathize and accept our differences, then we lose our humanness.
I married Jeff Gee in 1970 in England, we had our two girls a few years later, and our three grandchildren even later. In 1983 he was sent across the pond for business; we loved it, ended up staying and became American citizens. We run a family-owned training company called MJ Learning (www.mjlearning.com). We consult with corporations and government agencies worldwide, such as GE Healthcare, the U.S. Department of Veterans Affair and Vodafone — the parent company of Verizon, which took us to Cairo. We facilitate hundreds of soft-skills workshops like Emotional Intelligence, Leadership Development and Diversity. It’s authentic and powerful when you can teach from experience.
McGraw-Hill Education published my first five books: Super Service 1st and 2nd editions, Customer Service Training Toolkit, The Winners Attitude, OPEN Question Selling and Business Improv.
“You Married a What?” is available locally at The Book Table. Jeff and Val Gee are appearing at Eastgate Café, 102 Harrison St., Oak Park, on Friday, Jan. 18, 7 to 9 p.m., and appear regularly one Friday per month for a stand-up comic open mic. More: eastgatecafe.net/events.