Sometime in 2007, I hope to have a sports blog up at the Wednesday Journal website (that is, if the blog isn’t as old as Atari by then). But I’m so excited about the possibility of annoying you even more with my mundane, frivolous, and inconsequential observations and opinions, I decided to give you a mockup of what such a blog might consist of. I’m absolutely positive it will read something like this:
Spence on Sports: Yesterday I remembered I am a Cubs fan. I drank heavily.
Reader response: Right with ya Spencey! But you’ve got to like the pickup of Alfonso Soriano, the re-signing of Aramis Ramirez, and Kerry Wood’s resignation to the bullpen. Let’s not forget Lou Piniella will manage these guys. Whether it’s a Tribune marketing ploy to eventually sell off the team or not, it should take us right back up to near the top before it smashes us right back down again. Best drug I ever ingested, man! Keep up the great work. -Gabe Hightower, your old high school pal.
Spence on Sports: Here is a lawyer-recommended public service announcement: In no way do I nor the Wednesday Journal condone drinking or doing drugs. Stay in school. Just say no. Abstain from sex. Don’t drive angry. Eat healthy. Respect your elders. Clean your gutters.
Reader response: Oh your advice is so brilliant, son. We’re so very proud.-Love, Mom
Spence on Sports: Here’s what I’d do with Rex Grossman: Give him some competition, spook him a little. Have Brian Griese take snaps with the first-string offense all week. Let Grossman know that mistakes will not be tolerated, and stop handling him with kid gloves. We’ve got a Super Bowl to win!
Reader response: I couldn’t agree with you more nephew. Despite Grossman’s injury setbacks over the years he needs to be performing at his best right now. Either he finds consistency or we use someone else. Since when has Chicago ever tolerated mediocrity? Oh wait, I forgot about the Cubs. Sorry, now I’ve lost my train of thought. Got to go I’m driving my car while I type this on my Blackberry. -Uncle Fred
Spence on Sports: Michigan loses one game during the regular season- 42-39 to the best team in college football on the best team in college football’s home field-and the Wolverines don’t get to play in the championship bowl? Florida loses 27-17 to lowly Auburn during the regular season and yet the Gators are cast into the national championship? BCS stands for Bogus Championship Series.
Reader response No. 1: It’s a travesty! Let’s have a playoff already! -Cousin Greg
Reader response No. 2: The system is scientifically perfect! You can’t argue with computers, they know college football better than anyone. I disagree with you but I still think you’re the cat’s meow!-Aunt Betty
Reader response No. 3: Hey hun, can you pick up some milk on your way home? Thanks. -Your lovely wife, Eileen
Contact: bspencer@wjinc.com