IN MEMORIAM
South Oak Parkers are mourning the untimely death of one of their own: a homeless man, an outsider, but a member of the community nonetheless.
Those who knew Mark Glende didn’t know him very well. They say schizophrenia kept Mark from connecting with people, kept him from getting off the streets, from being helped by those eager to help.
Mark died Jan. 30 when a Metra train struck him on the tracks near the end of the line in Harvard. A Chicago Tribune report of the incident said the Metra engineer couldn’t see Mark, dressed in a dark coat, and McHenry County coroner’s office identified Mark with “no known address.” He was 45.
But those who knew him are not so quick to usher this troubled man’s life into oblivion, saying he had an address, he was a member of the community. He lived on the Oak Park Avenue expressway bridge, on benches in front of South Oak Park businesses, in Dumpsters behind those businesses, in intersections where he would unofficially direct traffic.
Mark Glende was there; he was around; he slept in Ascension Church until he had to scurry away, his long beard and unkempt appearance liable to scare the children coming in for Mass.
“He was harmless. He would never hurt anybody,” said Mary Lisa Carpenter, who knew Glende. She said he attended Oak Park schools and battled depression from an early age. When he got cleaned up and took his medication, “He was like a different person.”
But the person he was most of the time was the person people saw on the streets. Down and out, he often refused to take food, money or other handouts. A friend who did not want to be identified said that was because he was looking for something else.
“The one thing Mark never had was somebody to care about him,” she said. “It’s easy to get lost if you know what I mean.”
“I don’t want your money,” the friend remembers Mark telling her with a look in his eyes that made her feel terrible. “It felt like you failed him,” she said. “We were all guilty for not caring enough.”
But everyone interviewed agreed: People have their own families, their own lives. It’s hard to help a stranger, especially when he won’t take your help.
“He wouldn’t let us help him because people were certainly willing to do it,” said Rev. Larry McNally, pastor of Ascension Church. “I think it had a lot to do with his illness.”
Mark Glende had a big heart. He left money behind after eating a meal out of a restaurant’s Dumpster. He always remembered to bring canned goods to Mass at Ascension every three weeks to feed the poor. Donna Napolitano, who gave him food from time to time, got food back from him, too?#34;packages of cookies or bread he would toss over her fence.
People said Mark would be around every day, then suddenly he would disappear, gone for days. Then he’d come back.
No one knows what he may have been doing all the way out in Harvard. McNally said his parents live in North Carolina, and three siblings live in the Chicago area. Mark was a triplet, McNally said.
“It’s a loss. It’s a tragedy,” said Carpenter. “People in Oak Park need to know that he’s gone, and he’s going to be missed.”
Oak Parkers will be able to memorialize Mark Glende at an upcoming Mass at Ascension.
CONTACT: dcarter@wjinc.com