Many of us are aware of changes in ourselves or in others because of aging. Some of these changes we talk about, others we don’t.
As we get older, many of us talk with families and contemporaries about our health. Some of these discussions are jokingly called “organ recitals” — thinly veiled frustrated complaints — another example of making fun of ourselves out of shame over aging. Indeed, there is a billion-dollar cosmetics industry dedicated to preventing or slowing down the physical changes of aging.
But health is more than just the physical. It is getting more acceptable for us to talk about age-related physical changes, but not so much about cognitive changes. Culturally, we are too polite to go there. We are uncomfortable talking about mental-health issues associated with aging.
As we get older, most of us forget names, or don’t remember why we walked into this room. That does not automatically mean we have Alzheimer’s disease, which brings up two of society’s most persistent taboos that often intersect. The stigma around mental health makes it difficult to have open conversations about cognitive changes, while ageism and ageist stereotypes can make people reluctant to acknowledge or discuss age-related health changes.
Have you noticed a friend or colleague or family member exhibiting some new confusion or disorganization? Have you brought it up with them, or even with mutual friends? Many of us feel this to be a delicate situation. Perceived cognitive change can be concerning both for the well-being of the person and the functioning of our relationship with that person. Our reluctance to address it openly often comes from a place of respect and not wanting to embarrass or hurt someone. It can also come from fear and denial or judgment.
Whatever the reason, avoiding this discussion could potentially leave someone without the help they might need, or create issues that become harder to address over time. Empathy and sensitivity are necessary, but ignoring this demographic reality out of fear or denial or just being polite helps no one.
Since the year 1900, we have added more longevity to our species than all of previous civilization. As our population continues to shift radically, there will be more and more of us living longer. This is a significant demographic shift that has profound implications for society, workplaces, and health care. By 2020, the number of people 60 years and older outnumbered children younger than 5. This demographic reality makes the cultural taboos even more problematic. We can’t afford to stay silent about aging and cognitive health when more and more of our population is over 60.
This shift means we need to:
1. Develop better ways to discuss and address cognitive health as a normal part of aging
2. Create workplace policies that support an aging workforce while preserving dignity
3. Rethink our cultural attitudes toward aging and mental health
As we age in our communities, let us embrace both the loss and the opportunities of living and start talking about the taboos.