Carlos Zambrano: “We play like a Triple-A team. This is embarrassing. Embarrassing for the team and the owners. Embarrassing for the fans. Embarrassed — that’s the word for this team. … ” Cue Bob Brenly: “This has been, once again, another dead-ass team.”
These recent statements are not shocking or surprising, simply truthful. But I’m here to tell you, they’re absolutely unnecessary.
I had no idea the Cubs were playing like a Triple-A team. The multiple errors, the poor baserunning, the lack of timely hitting, the 10-games-out-of-first-place thing, and, as of Tuesday morning, the seven-game losing streak. The only Triple-A team that plays this bad is the recreational co-ed softball team sponsored by AAA Motor Club in Davenport, Iowa. Hey, Big Z, thanks for the heads up. You’re a genius.
While it’s refreshing to hear some acknowledgment of this team’s incompetence — but please, no more mundane soundbites of “We need to start playing better” or I’ll dry heave my annoyance — Zambrano’s method of ridiculing his teammates publicly is distasteful, no matter how frustrated he may very well be. It’s childish. If the Cubs are playing like they’re a Triple-A team, then Big Z sounds like a whiny, bratty Little Leaguer.
As for Brenly, I think it’s pretty clear he’d like to be sitting in the Cubs dugout and not the Cubs television booth. Where can Jim Hendry quickly find a highly regarded former manager in order to assuage disgruntled Cubs fans? Why, he’s four rows down from Mike Quade on the charter flight home from Philly. And he’s none-too-pleased with the Cubs’ performance. But such a move would be like spraying mosquito repellant on a freshly scraped knee (which I unintentionally did to the horror of my 2-year-old daughter Marie on Sunday. Regardless, she still loves her Daddy). It may keep the blood suckers at bay, but the sting will intensify.
Would bereft Cubs fans learn to love again if Hendry received permission from the Ricketts to dispatch Quade, who has been forced to manage a handful of replacements since half the team has more or less formed a triage unit? Would Brenly, who has interviewed for the job in the past, be an adequate — and most certainly temporary — replacement?
Hold on, answer that after this pitch to Albert Pujols. Ugh, should have walked him.
Hold on, answer that after this pitch to Albert Pujols. Wait, what just happened?
Don’t answer that. It won’t make a difference. Revert back to Zambrano’s method of publicly calling out his players to somehow motivate them as the only hope to salvage the season.
Maybe such discouragement can be encouraging, while remaining unnecessary, but not so embarrassing. Oh, I give up.
Contact: bspencer@oakpark.com
