Everybody can get stoned

Opinion: Columns

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By John Hubbuch

I must admit to being both a bit curious and excited about the big day coming up on Jan. 1, 2020. That's when those of us over 21 can legally buy and smoke weed in Illinois. Pretty cool. 

Now for many this is not a big deal. Some have been buying and smoking weed all along. Some never have and never will. Some are satisfied with alcohol.

But then there is the cohort that includes me. I have avoided marijuana because I didn't know where to find it, and I was afraid the narcs would catch me if I did. I have seen lots of drug movies, and a Turkish prison is no joke. I smoked about five times in law school but weirdly, as I remember, it always involved drinking peppermint schnapps. So I got high, but don't know why. I googled "marijuana + schnapps," but only "weird" came up.

Now I can go online, find a store, and ask the sales representative to get me high. Awesome. I understand that with marijuana, like pants, one size does not fit all. I think there are pills, oils, candies. I'm not sure about suppositories. Then there are different effects. Some kinds make you relaxed, some sharper, some happier. I'm for sure going to look into smarter and sexier. I hear there is a start-up working on a strain that will make you disappear. Or make you think you disappear. I'm not sure. That's crazy.

I'm an alcohol man myself — craft beer, Nollet's gin and George Dickel whiskey. They are my choices to alter the quotidian existence of emptying the dishwasher, paying bills and talking about Trump. However, marijuana has advantages over alcohol: no hangover, no calories and no spillage.

So here's my plan. I'm going to my neighborhood dope store early next year, and request the dosage and kind of marijuana that gives you the same buzz as an Old Fashion, chased by a Sam Adams Boston Lager. I will then report back to you. Someone has to do it. My love for you readers, well a few of you, knows no bounds. 

See you on the other side.

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Mary Kay O'Grady  

Posted: December 10th, 2019 8:51 PM

I'm afraid the drug companies are going to snap it up, make us get a prescription and hike the prices . . .

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