Faithfully yours

Opinion: Letters To The Editor

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An email has been forwarded to this office by a former Treasure Island bagger and now an administrator at a high school district who shall remain nameless. The email appears to have been sent by the board chair to all board members. 

Dear board members:

In order not to join Hinsdale in the twice-failed-referendum club, we need a better strategy than threatening to cancel any and all sports and clubs. Our district's voters might not fall for that old chestnut. I say "might," but why take the chance? We are blessed with a slush fund that allows a more subtle approach. Here is my proposed five-step program to referendal triumph:

1. Declare the swimming facilities unsafe due to deterioration. Immediately close them.

2. In response to community shock and dismay, "reluctantly" spend the slush fund on a showpiece natatorium that will seat 600 spectators the two times a year it is used for competitions that anybody actually attends.

3. Once the dust settles, float a referendum for everything non-athletic on our wish list. Sell it as "For Education."

4. Count on the voters to fail to connect the dots. Nobody is "Against Education."

5. Reserve a fancy restaurant for the election-night victory party. Don't worry about non-refundable deposits; success is certain.

The only drawback to this program is that the slush fund goes away. The #1 takeaway from Hinsdale's bind is that a nine-figure slush fund means you never have to play "Mother, May I?" with the voters. However, a well-crafted future referendum should allow slush fund replenishment.

Faithfully yours,

 

Board chair

Bob Stigger

Oak Park

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