A Vacation From Diversity

By John Hubbuch
Since I retired I have visited Florida for a week in February. The whole point of Florida is the weather in the winter. Without the weather it is central Indiana.
For the past three years Marsha and I have stayed in Naples, Florida, "The Whitest Place In The World" Spotting a person of color in Naples is like looking for an eagle in Oak Park.
The traditional perils of Florida are not present in Naples. Those sinkholes that devour houses have all been filled with gold and silver. Naples is super affluent. There are no alligators either because they have all been made into purses or shoes. There are no heated arguments over politics because everyone is Republican. I suspect a sizeable portion of the voters would support a movement to restore the monarchy.
But to be fair, I must admit that I really like a week in Naples, and not just because of the hundred degree difference in windchill temperatures. It is a week's vacation from diversity. Don't get me wrong: I love Oak Park. I have lived here since 1976, and plan to live here for the rest of my life. It's just that the political correctness, the boosterism, the homeless, the wariness over crime, the congestion, the traffic ---all get to be a little much. So a visit to Naples is like going to some kind of cartoon opposite world.
But a week is enough. I was excited to shovel snow this AM, and I'm looking forward to the homeless guy holding the door at McDonald's, and carrying my socially responsible mesh grocery bag to Pan's later today.
So long , Naples. See you next year.
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John Butch Murtagh from Oak Park, Illinois
Facebook Verified
Posted: March 3rd, 2014 12:42 PM
The rest worked - clever article.
Your accountant
Posted: March 3rd, 2014 10:33 AM
Write a "column", write off your weeks vacation. Check.
Brian Slowiak from Oak Park
Posted: March 2nd, 2014 10:44 PM
No, no, he meant divesity.Its a new word. Divesity,verb,meaning I have no topic, but write anyway.
Cheesefare
Posted: March 2nd, 2014 3:10 PM
DIVESITY? SPELL-CHECK!