#1 Antidote to STRESS

Share on Facebook
Share on Twitter
Print

By Melissa Ford

Coach - Personal & Business

It's holiday time which means time for DE-STRESSING! 

We've all experienced strain and tension, but why can't there just be one simple approach to stress-free living regardless of the time of year? There is:

Drop the Need-To-Be-Right 

Recently, I participated in a 30 day challenge to let go of my need-to-be-right thinking.  All kinds of benefits were promised including those holiday miracles: peace on earth and goodwill toward all men and family members. I was skeptical, but in the spirit of proving someone wrong, I jumped in.  

The challenge was simple, the execution much harder.   

Rules: 

  • Identify those areas (people and places) where you need-to-be-right. Consider both your personal and professional life.
  • Let go of your need-to-be-right (See Helpful Tips below)
  • Reflect daily on your thoughts, feelings and actions. Specifically, what fear are you trying to avoid by being right? Looking stupid, feeling inferior, being obsequious?  

Helpful Tips: 

  • Tip #1: If someone is spouting off an opinion which you think is hogwash or know is factually wrong, agree anyway. Simply say, "It sounds like your right!" 
  •  Tip #2: If you need to express your opinion after you agree, use the word AND instead of BUT. For instance, "I agree AND I think blah, blah, blah. . ."  The word BUT takes the agreement away.   

I decided to go for broke, focusing on 30 days of agreement with my husband, my mom and my adult kids. Before I would engage in any conversation, I'd remind myself I wasn't going to be right. I was going to agree - with everything. 

Talk about foreign territory! 

I kept uttering those magical words: Honey, you're absolutely right! or Mom, thanks for pointing that out. I agree! or for those harder times, I'd nod.  I turned it into a game, and then I started to notice something; I didn't need to be right. 

Strangely, I was happier NOT being right. 

Agreement opened me up. Life was easier. I felt kinder, more engaged, relaxed. I could hear other opinions, even daring to implement an idea or two. I spent less time trying to get my husband to see things or do things my way. I listened to my mother's suggestions. Anger, defensiveness and grudge-holding, my old friends, had taken a backseat. I had more mental and physical energy because I wasn't stressing myself out with my need-to-be-right!

Don't take my word for it. Venture into unfamiliar territory. Give the challenge a whirl!

And who knows, you just might receive an unexpected gift this holiday season - a year-round, stress-free, miraculous life. 

Contact:
Email: melissa@empoweredcoachingsolutions.com

Love the Journal?

Become our partner in independent community journalism

Thanks for turning to Wednesday Journal and OakPark.com. We love our thousands of digital-only readers. Now though we're asking you to partner up in paying for our reporters and photographers who report this news. It had to happen, right?

On the plus side, we're giving you a simple way, and a better reason, to join in. We're now a non-profit -- Growing Community Media -- so your donation is tax deductible. And signing up for a monthly donation, or making a one-time donation, is fast and easy.

No threats from us. The news will be here. No paywalls or article countdowns. We're counting on an exquisite mix of civic enlightenment and mild shaming. Sort of like public radio.

Claim your bragging rights. Become a digital member.

Donate Now

Reader Comments

1 Comment - Add Your Comment

Note: This page requires you to login with Facebook to comment.

Comment Policy

Brian Slowiak from Oak Park  

Posted: February 7th, 2014 8:30 AM

Tip #2: "use the word and instead of but" , "The word but takes the argument away" Why would you not want to take the argument away?Maybe it is me.

Facebook Connect

Answer Book 2019

To view the full print edition of the Wednesday Journal 2019 Answer Book, please click here.

Quick Links

Sign-up to get the latest news updates for Oak Park and River Forest.


            
SubscribeClassified
MultimediaContact us
Submit Letter To The Editor
Place a Classified Ad

Latest Comments