#1 Antidote to STRESS

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By Melissa Ford

Coach - Personal & Business

It's holiday time which means time for DE-STRESSING! 

We've all experienced strain and tension, but why can't there just be one simple approach to stress-free living regardless of the time of year? There is:

Drop the Need-To-Be-Right 

Recently, I participated in a 30 day challenge to let go of my need-to-be-right thinking.  All kinds of benefits were promised including those holiday miracles: peace on earth and goodwill toward all men and family members. I was skeptical, but in the spirit of proving someone wrong, I jumped in.  

The challenge was simple, the execution much harder.   


  • Identify those areas (people and places) where you need-to-be-right. Consider both your personal and professional life.
  • Let go of your need-to-be-right (See Helpful Tips below)
  • Reflect daily on your thoughts, feelings and actions. Specifically, what fear are you trying to avoid by being right? Looking stupid, feeling inferior, being obsequious?  

Helpful Tips: 

  • Tip #1: If someone is spouting off an opinion which you think is hogwash or know is factually wrong, agree anyway. Simply say, "It sounds like your right!" 
  •  Tip #2: If you need to express your opinion after you agree, use the word AND instead of BUT. For instance, "I agree AND I think blah, blah, blah. . ."  The word BUT takes the agreement away.   

I decided to go for broke, focusing on 30 days of agreement with my husband, my mom and my adult kids. Before I would engage in any conversation, I'd remind myself I wasn't going to be right. I was going to agree - with everything. 

Talk about foreign territory! 

I kept uttering those magical words: Honey, you're absolutely right! or Mom, thanks for pointing that out. I agree! or for those harder times, I'd nod.  I turned it into a game, and then I started to notice something; I didn't need to be right. 

Strangely, I was happier NOT being right. 

Agreement opened me up. Life was easier. I felt kinder, more engaged, relaxed. I could hear other opinions, even daring to implement an idea or two. I spent less time trying to get my husband to see things or do things my way. I listened to my mother's suggestions. Anger, defensiveness and grudge-holding, my old friends, had taken a backseat. I had more mental and physical energy because I wasn't stressing myself out with my need-to-be-right!

Don't take my word for it. Venture into unfamiliar territory. Give the challenge a whirl!

And who knows, you just might receive an unexpected gift this holiday season - a year-round, stress-free, miraculous life. 

Email: melissa@empoweredcoachingsolutions.com

Reader Comments

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Brian Slowiak from Oak Park  

Posted: February 7th, 2014 8:30 AM

Tip #2: "use the word and instead of but" , "The word but takes the argument away" Why would you not want to take the argument away?Maybe it is me.

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