Is It Fair In Your Family

Share on Facebook
Share on Twitter

By Melissa Ford

Coach - Personal & Business

Somebody passed this tip onto me years ago:  Teach your children "It's not fair." Huh?  What? Aren't we suppose to educate our children about fairness, justice, right and wrong?  Sounds like a lesson a good parent would never teach her child, but have you ever tried to give equally to your children or fix external situations so that everything is fair? 

Sure you have and the problem?   It's an endless, exhausting endeavor.  Running to comfort your son's hurt feelings because his sister received a gift and he didn't, appealing to the soccer coach to give your daughter more playing time, or not being able to take one child to the store unless the other child comes along.   Not giving equally to your children or trying to "make life fair" will teach your kids that their happiness isn't contingent upon life dealing them a fair hand.  

You know the drill:  You've been waiting in line for 10 minutes and someone behind you moves to the head of a newly opened line.  You're highly qualified to fill a new position within your company and the CEO's son-in-law lands the job.  You're a loyal, prompt-paying cell phone user and your neighbor joins your network for a cheaper price.  IT ISN'T FAIR!

That's right!  When we don't get what we want - believing life isn't fair only justifes our unhappiness and gets us stuck. The reality is things aren't fair yet you can still feel good. Once kids (and adults) learn this liberating lesson - then we can all settle down and enjoy what we have and let go of being unhappy about what doesn't come our way. 

Is it fair in your family?  Try a new way of guiding your child that embraces the inequities in life.    


Love the Journal?

Become our partner in independent community journalism

Thanks for turning to Wednesday Journal and We love our thousands of digital-only readers. Now though we're asking you to partner up in paying for our reporters and photographers who report this news. It had to happen, right?

On the plus side, we're giving you a simple way, and a better reason, to join in. We're now a non-profit -- Growing Community Media -- so your donation is tax deductible. And signing up for a monthly donation, or making a one-time donation, is fast and easy.

No threats from us. The news will be here. No paywalls or article countdowns. We're counting on an exquisite mix of civic enlightenment and mild shaming. Sort of like public radio.

Claim your bragging rights. Become a digital member.

Donate Now

Reader Comments

No Comments - Add Your Comment

Note: This page requires you to login with Facebook to comment.

Comment Policy

Facebook Connect

Answer Book 2019

To view the full print edition of the Wednesday Journal 2019 Answer Book, please click here.

Quick Links

Sign-up to get the latest news updates for Oak Park and River Forest.

MultimediaContact us
Submit Letter To The Editor
Place a Classified Ad

Latest Comments