Parents - How Tuned in Are You

Share on Facebook
Share on Twitter

By Melissa Ford

Coach - Personal & Business

JUST LISTEN, but not in the way you normally do as you multi-task or interrupt to correct your kid's faulty thinking.  Try a unique, attitudinal way of listening that let's your child feel respected, heard, and wanting to open up more and more. 

Here are the Core Listening Components:

Be Present:  Be really interested and curious in what your child has to say.  Stay focused - not thinking about the past or worrying about the future.

Be Non-judgmental:  Refrain from viewing what your child says, does, wants, or feels as "bad" or "wrong."  The minute you judge your child (by your facial expressions, your words, or your tone of voice) she knows it, which leads to defensiveness, anger, and disconnecting.

Be Accepting:  Of where you child is right now.  It's okay that she thinks, feels, acts, and wants the way she does.  You might want something different for her, but accept her for who she is right now.  DO NOT fix her, solve her problems, offer advice or solutions.  REMAIN QUIET and LISTEN. 

There are endless benefits to connecting with your child this way!  Mutual respect, trust, acceptance.  

Try this out and let me know what benefits you experience!


Reader Comments

2 Comments - Add Your Comment

Note: This page requires you to login with Facebook to comment.

Comment Policy

Susan Lucci from River Forest IL  

Posted: November 1st, 2010 10:51 AM

Thanks, Melissa. I am reminded by the one piece of advice my mom gave me on parenting (well, besides the stop reading all those books, go with your gut tip!)....Listen more than you talk. It was her one regret. Thanks for the reminder!

Libbey Paul from Oak Park  

Posted: November 1st, 2010 5:46 AM

MelissaGreat reminder to listen without judgment. I find I'm often too quick to correct, and unthinkingly shut my kids down. Thanks and glad to see you posting on these important parenting topics!

Facebook Connect

Answer Book 2019

To view the full print edition of the Wednesday Journal 2019 Answer Book, please click here.

Quick Links

Sign-up to get the latest news updates for Oak Park and River Forest.

MultimediaContact us
Submit Letter To The Editor
Place a Classified Ad