The Oak Park Village Board has decided to solve another problem that does not exist. They want to provide a safe place to walk and run. Has the board never heard of sidewalks?
A sidewalk is defined by Webster as “a usually paved walk for pedestrians at the side of a street.” while it defines a street as “a: a thoroughfare especially in a city, town, or village that is wider than an alley or lane and that usually includes sidewalks; b: the part of a street reserved for vehicles.”
If you cannot figure out how to maintain social distancing on the sidewalk, I suggest you cross the street (Webster’s definition of street, not the village of Oak Park’s) or walk on the parkway.
So, walkers and runners can use the sidewalk and bikers can use the street since a bicycle is a vehicle, right? What about rollerblades, you may ask? I say go to a “Roller Rink.” It is designed for the use of roller skates and rollerblades.
I know this argument will make no difference to the village board since we lead the way in progressive politics. This is a progressive issue! It reminds me of how it makes my heart warm to know how our Nuclear Weapons Free Zone has worked to eliminate nuclear weaponry all around the world! Unfortunately, no one told the governments of the United States, Russia, the United Kingdom, France, China, Israel, India, Pakistan, and North Korea.
One more thing: has the village board ever heard of an unforeseen circumstance? I can think of two: First we will burn more fossil fuels since it will be a longer distance to many places. Second, there will be more traffic on the parallel streets since drivers will still need to go the same direction they were going before they arrived at the “Safe Street.” And then the people who live on the parallel street will complain that there is too much traffic. We need a safer street, too. Oh no!
Now what do we do? Create more “Safe Streets” or add more “Speed Tables”?
I am sure the board is happy to add more inane/time-wasting issues to their agenda.