Festival Theatre’s excellent old-time radio “broadcast” of The Picture of Dorian Gray at the 19th Century Charitable Association last weekend (Friday and Sunday) included actual ads for the sponsors, read by the actors and announcer Charlie Meyerson and penned by Festival’s writer extraordinaire, Belinda Bremner. Since Wednesday Journal was one of the sponsors, we got an ad, hammed up nicely by Festival’s artistic director Jack Hickey and artistic associate Kevin Theis. Bremner provided us with a copy of the script:

Music (“Flying” sound effect, same rhythm as the Superman opening)

KEVIN: Faster than Col. McCormick! More powerful than William

Randolph Hearst! Able to break big stories in a weekly issue!

JACK: Look, up on Oak Park Avenue!

KEVIN: It’s a paper!

JACK: It’s THE paper!

BOTH: It’s the Wednesday Journal!

JACK: Yes, it’s the Wednesday Journal, in-depth chronicle of an independent publisher. And who, delivered weekly and available online, fights a never-ending battle for truth, justice and the Oak Park Way!

KEVIN: (“The Shadow” laughter) Who knows what nefarious plots are brewing in the halls of village government? What schemes are at play on the fields of OPRF? Where should you dine and what you should see? Who knows everything about Oak Park? The Wednesday Journal does! (laughter and music)

JACK: (Sound effects of Morse code, speaking as Winchell) Good evening, Mr. and Mrs. North and South America and all ships at sea. FLASH. I get all my news from the Wednesday Journal.

We couldn’t have said it better.

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