I believe I have solved the question of parking that has been a troublesome issue in our business districts over the years. The exciting new solution will require residents to follow one of two paths to acquire an exemption from all parking rules and restrictions in Oak Park. No more meters — Hooray!

Option 1 – Paint a 5-inch wide, medium blue stripe horizontally from the front to the rear of your car, along with a series of numbers and letters identifying your car as a Chicago Police Department vehicle.

Option 2 – Attend the Chicago Police Academy, then join the police force and, along with your benefit package, comes unlimited parking privileges in the village limits of Oak Park.

Granted, the second option is a bit more time-consuming. I would expect that Dressel’s Hardware would have a run on blue paint in the near future, once this new initiative is made public. Villagers will be happy to know that with their new identities the Oak Park police force will never require them to park in a metered spot again. All will be able to park the wrong way on a one-way street or park in No Parking zones. Best of all, you can park directly in front of your favorite restaurant, even on the sidewalk, if that’s convenient for you.

Oak Park must have some special exemption for Chicago police officers that allows them to park wherever they wish to take their lunch and dinner breaks or to get their coffee. You can see Chicago police cruisers parked all over town any day of the week in places that our village has said are not parking spaces.

It is time to either give them a ticket or ask them to park like the rest of us. I am confident that if an Oak Park police cruiser were parked illegally in downtown Chicago, it would be ticketed. Why doesn’t it happen here?

Maybe they’re doing undercover planning on how to prevent the wave of Chicago residents who will be visiting our garages this summer.

I hope this is helpful. No need to buy any more parking permits. Think of the administrative costs the village will save.

Brent Showalter
Oak Park

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