Hells bells, it wasn’t but a couple days after New Years before those pesky admins took down the Christmas stuff and put up all the Valentine’s Day gear.  What’s the rush, said I. Don’t get me wrong, we senior citizens can be pretty darn romantic but this was plain crazy.  The missus and I hadn’t even deleted the holo-tree from the vid screen in the dome.

But I guess that romance is in the air, even if the air is a little stale in these here domes. 

Let me tell you what: if you’re an old lady New Palin isn’t a bad place to be.  All those demographic problems were left behind on Earth.  Back there you know men drop dead much sooner than the gals,  leaving too many widows.   The social engineers at NASA solved that right away, using a sort of Noah’s Ark principle – two by two, and all. 

It’s not quite the same of course.  None of us are going back to Earth, per our agreements with NASA.  When President Palin (Piper, not Sarah) finally finished off Social Security they came up with assorted living options to compensate those of us that were fixing to retire.  Not that there was much to retire to!  It had all gone kaput.  America had been pretty well privatized out from under our noses – on the sly.  Hey!  You  remember that secret deal when they sold Chicago to the Chinese in 2011?  Ha ha!

Anyway, the missus and I got to thinking that life on Mars would be exciting, and we sure as heck wouldn’t need money here.  The government subsidizes everything here – which, according to Frank, makes us just like Alaska –  before it got sold to Kuwait, that is.

So, two by two it is. Most of the time.  The old boys still die off sooner, whether it’s Earth or Mars,  but those NASA shuttles account for that and keep everything pretty even.  This makes for a nice Valentine’s Day up here.   I’ll tell you what, you kids on Earth, send those spinster aunts of yours out here to Mars. You’ll never see ’em again, but they’ll thank you for it.  Lots of elbow room and a smart little dome complete with a little old husband thrown in for good measure.

Cupid calls, ladies!    

Join the discussion on social media!

Dave Coulter

I have been a horticulturist for thirty years working in the Chicago area and beyond. I have lived in Oak Park for over thirteen years. My writing has recently appeared in the journal Ecological Restoration...

2 replies on “Greetings from New Palin – Red Roses for a Red Planet”