April Fools’ Edition
A group of Oak Park parents is proposing a new league that would ban running in T-ball. These parents, while applauding the current bifurcated system that uses a hard baseball in one league and a softer one in the other league, believe that T-ball remains unsafe for children even with the softer ball.
The group’s spokesman, Francois Wimpé, cited statistics that far more children are injured tripping over first base than by a pitched or batted ball. In addition, Wimpé cited a University of Lyons study that concluded many children were dying 70 to 80 years after playing T-ball. Admitting that the study did not prove a link between death and running in T-ball, Wimpé noted, “We can’t be too careful with our children’s lives.”
Under the proposed league, instead of running the bases, the players would roll dice or draw cards to determine the outcome of the child’s at bat. Wimpé indicated that all the children would wear uniforms, cheer and get treats after the game.
“That’s all the kids care about anyway. Most of them are awful,” he said.
According to Wimpé, the proposed league would level the playing field and end the current system that favors those with athletic ability.
Park district boss Gary Balling, when asked for his thoughts on the proposal, said: “It seems a little different, but certainly we would like to accommodate every child and every parent. Besides, if there’s no running, then you don’t really need a field. You could play these games in your basement.”