As a sportswriter, I suppose I should be backing Chicago’s bid for the 2016 Olympics with all my might, but I must admit I’ve been – most uncomfortably – on the barb-wired fence on this subject.
I’m on the fence about a lot of things these days. Should I be panicking about Swine Flu or simply categorize it as a mild concern? Universal health care – Do we really need to include martians from outer space in this plan? I mean does E.T.’s inflamed finger really need to be covered? And is it necessary that I keep up with the Kardashians? Can’t they manage their wealthy and attractive lives without my scrutiny?
Pull on those cowboy boots, shimmy into those Wranglers. Now tense up with me, squint the eyes and sing in that tight growl of a voice:
“Desperado, why don’t you come to your senses
You been out ridin’ fences for so long now.”
Twitter me this, Facebook me that, but I don’t know if I want the Olympics in Chicago in seven years or not. It would be great for the city’s national exposure and might wipe clean the dirty soot raining upon the state in recent years over political corruption and political corruption, not to mention political corruption.
To be honest, Chicago playing host to the 2016 Olympics would be quite shocking. It’s not that the city isn’t worthy with its beautiful parks and location on the lake, but compared to Rio de Janeiro, Chicago is (or was) Kiddieland at best – Ferris Wheel and all.
And to think that Oprah’s presence in Copenhagen this week could have an impact on whether or not Chicago gets the Olympics is disheartening to say the least. Oprah knows sports like I know her BFF Gayle, which I don’t, or some dude named Stedman, who may or may not really exist.
I think the entire process of pretty much begging and cajoling and pleading to secure the Games seems pathetic. However, I’d give anything to be on that Olympic committee. Swag, swag and more swag. Show me the MONeyyyy! Wait, that’s a very Blagojevichian way of thinking.
I think I want the Olympics in Chicago in 2016. I know I want the Cubs to win the World Series by 2016. I want to be a better man by 2016. I want to write a column without losing my train of thought – The Eagles, old but not horrible – by 2016.
I guess I just want to come to my senses by 2016.