From the editor
In the last week or so I’ve come to believe that Caster Semenya is a woman, that Brett Favre is indecisive and that Plaxico Burress is just plain dumb.
I’ll start with Semenya, the woman being pegged by some as a man. The true gender of the 18-year-old South African, who last week came out of nowhere to win the women’s 800-meter run at the world championships, is being investigated by the International Association of Athletics Federation. The federation said the results may take two to three weeks – this, I can’t explain.
But I can explain why I think the extremely muscular 5-foot-7, 140-pound Semenya is indeed a woman. Though she’s yet to make a statement about the accusations or the investigation, she knowingly entered and qualified for a female-only world championship race. No man, gay, bi, straight, asexual, confused, bewildered, oblivious or otherwise would do that. Semenya must have the physical attributes of a female or the federation would have nipped this in the bud a month or so ago when she arrived on the scene.
Her own team manager, Phiwe Mlangeni-Tsholetsane, suggested there was some fuzziness to his runner’s gender when he told the Associated Press last week, “We entered Caster as a woman and we want to keep it that way. Our conscience is clear in terms of Semenya.”
Yes, I’ve come to believe Caster Semenya is a woman. No one with male genitalia would attempt to become the world’s fastest woman. No one with female genitalia would want to be declared the world’s fastest man. If Semenya is proven to be male, then I will cringe in discomfort with the rest of the guy population. If she’s proven to be a woman, then I will cringe in discomfort with the rest of the guy population – only because we’re pigs.
If you’re confused about my point, I’ll put it in simpler terms. If Semenya has a penis and/or testicles, she’s a man posing as a woman. Enough said.
Favre is a man who can’t decide whether to stay retired or not. He’s flip-flopped more times than fans at a Jimmy Buffett concert. He’s now playing for the Minnesota Vikings, a team he had, just a few months ago, declared he would not be returning to the NFL to play for. I like Favre. I like it when other people struggle with decisions and then go with the one that doesn’t make much sense.
Which brings us to Burress, who shot himself in the leg at a nightclub awhile back and now will likely serve nearly 20 months in jail on a two-year jail sentence for the effort. Burress really had no choice but to plead guilty to his weapon’s charge. After all, there was the bullet hole in the leg – a “smoking gun,” if you will.
I know, this is all hard to believe. But in the last week I’ve come to believe a lot of things.