Much to the chagrin of our children, it has come to our attention that the CAST performing arts students at Julian Middle School have once again produced a film, High School Hemingway, scheduled to premiere at the Lake Theatre this Saturday, May 12, at 10 a.m. (524-7848). Apparently the kiddos had been censoring all incoming information in an effort to deprive us of this intelligence, motivated by their profound shock and humiliation last year, when one of them was involved in the film. We innocently caused her reputation to plummet and explode into the miasma of shame that can only be created by a mother who is trying to help by whooping and hollering when the limousine pulled up and the student actors disembarked and walked on the red carpet to the doors of the theater. But what’s an opening without hysterical fans?

We just hope this doesn’t dampen their enthusiasm for celebrating the heck out of us on Mother’s Day, which is of course, when? Say it with us: This Sunday. We have been experiencing a fair amount of frustration as a mother lately. If our Mother’s Day doesn’t rise to our expectations, we’re considering chucking it all and checking out the Oak Park Farmers’ Market Recruitment Open House on Tuesday, May 15, at 7 p.m. at the Oak Park Public Library ( ). Farming may not be the obvious choice for a career change, but at least we wouldn’t have to deal with people, and we’d probably get a good suntan. Plus, don’t you think it would have a calming and centering effect, farming? Out in nature, driving around in circles on the combine-or the thresher, or whatever they call those giant lime-green machines?

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