You never cared before, why should you now?

There were allegations that Mark McGuire took illegal performance-enhancing drugs during his record breaking 70-home run season in 1998. I don’t remember you scoffing then. I don’t recall you going on about asterisks or possible suspensions. What about Sammy Sosa? He was suspected of juicing up for much of his career, but you never painted your sign to read “ROIDS ARE FOR PREPARATION H, SAMMY!” No, you probably painted, “DECA-DURABOLIN IT, SAMMY!” and held it up high in the right field bleachers of Wrigley Field. That was you jamming the phone lines when Cubs tickets went on sale in February.

What about Jason Giambi, Raphael Palmeiro, Jose Conseco, Ken Caminiti, Gary Sheffield? You weren’t outraged about these suspected/admitted users. You didn’t walk away from Major League Baseball when you were almost certain the game was being played by known cheaters. You pulled the wool over your own eyes and carried on, hungry for the excitement of more medically manufactured homerun sluggers.

In a hearing before Congress, McGuire wouldn’t deny or admit to taking steroids during his baseball career, which is more or less a confession. And you still held on to the possibility that nothing was nor has been tainted in America’s pastime.

You’ve paid $7 for a cup of beer at the ballgame. Every year ticket prices have increased, and every year you’ve purchased tickets.

I know your kind. You’re a sad sort. You’re easily influenced. You buy into the ridiculous notion that if it isn’t broke, why fix it. Morals are foreign to you.

You believe Dusty Baker when he claims to not have known anything about how Barry Bonds gained nearly 20 pounds of muscle during one off-season. Sosa’s explanation of using a corked bat during a game in ’03 was perfectly reasonable for you.

You believe it when they say everyone is watching American Idol, or Desperate Housewives, or reruns of Fear Factor. In your diluted mind Michael Jackson hasn’t had any plastic surgery. Former President Bill Clinton did not have sexual relations with that woman, Ms. Lewinsky, before admitting to having inappropriate relations with that woman, Ms. Lewinsky. There really is a free adult XXX Web Site! Weapons of mass destruction were in Iraq. You believe smoking will only make you stinky for a while. There is a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow.

Now suddenly, with a new book coming out that details Bonds’ use of steroids from ’98 to ’03, you’re disgusted. Where have you been, in Baghdad wondering what all the angst was about? This isn’t as shocking as Three 6 Mafia winning an Oscar for “It’s Hard Out There for a Pimp.” Close your lower jaw. Quit repeating, “No waaaay!”

It’s about time you came to your senses, and really took a good hard look at yourself in the mirror. You’ve been hooked on steroids as well.

Contact: Bspencer@wjinc.com

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Brad Spencer

Brad Spencer has been covering sports in and around Oak Park for more than a decade, which means the young athletes he once covered in high school are now out of college and at home living with their parents...