We are SO MAD at our ungrateful children. While all of you were having fun getting dressed up as pirates Wednesday morning for Pirate Day at the high school, our children were plastered against the front door, barring us from going to work in our eye patch and fake beard. You would think they would appreciate our theater background and our willingness to enter into the spirit of community celebrations. “But it’s Homecoming Week!!!” we had calmly explained to them, punching them playfully. “We didn’t dress up in ’80s clothes on Tuesday because that’s all we ever wear, anyway. But how can we resist Pirate Day?”

They were unmoved. Our son would not even let us glue fake facial hair on his chin with spirit gum, and he GOES to high school. We told him we wouldn’t let him go to the Homecoming Dance if he wouldn’t let us at least draw a black mustache on him with a marker.

They’re all just sad because our house wasn’t invited to be in the Beautiful Bungalows Tour on Saturday, Oct. 8, at 10 a.m. (383-2654). Being as our house is, indeed, a Bungalow, they concluded that it must have been deemed un-Beautiful. We’d be trying harder to cheer them up, but we’re going to let them stay distracted, so we can plan what we’re going to wear for the Homecoming Parade on Saturday. Hopefully, while they’re moping around on the porch hoping that guests will show up to tour our house, we’ll be free to sneak out the back door in our parrot costume and make the 11 a.m. start of the parade.

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