Lincoln School’s ban on riding bikes to school so outraged me I decided to write a sneering letter denouncing the policy. I went to the Oak Park Public Library, mounted one of their computers, ordered a “giddy up” and started typing.

I felt so roiled I screamed as I typed until a library security guard tapped me on the shoulder and said screaming was not permitted in the general area of the library only in the Wailing Rant Room, located beyond the other side of the Silent Study Room.

Usually, you can find a seat in the Silent Study Room, but not in the Wailing Rant Area. At all hours of the day, p.o’d Oak Parkers are moaning, venting, bellyaching, and brainsick-kvetching about the things that upset them in their village.

Some have so many complaints they just jump up and down and remonstrate in a continuous primal scream.

These p.o.’d Oak Parkers have a potpourri of complaints: too much development, too little development, pro-development but only the right kind of development, WiFi radio waves damaging your child’s brain, too little parking, too many parking garages, and the most common complaint of p.o.’d Oak Parkers?#34; “The village board doesn’t listen!” which is usually another way of saying, “you’re not doing what we want!!!”

I apologized to the security guard for my screaming and declined his suggestion to move to the Wailing Rant Room to finish my letter. It has no computers. P.o.’d Oak Parkers had long ago in their rage stomped them into rubble, and the library management wisely refused to replace them.

I walked down to the Cyber Arena to use a computer. Screaming doesn’t seem it would bother anyone there. The place is filled with gorked gamers, their mouths agape and faces impaled on a computer screen as if they were witnessing the rapture.

Byron Lanning
Oak Park

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