From the editor
Hey there! Nice to hear from you again … I think. Thanks for calling my hospital room. Hey, since I have you on the line I was hoping you could help me out. I’m in a bad state. They tell me I just woke from a nasty coma. I’ve been in a deep sleep for eons. A nurse scolded me for mixing Nyquil, a turkey sandwich, a CD of Kenny G., and the movie Gigli together, so I think that may have had something to do with my profound state of unconsciousness.
Anyway, do you think you could fill me in on anything important I may have missed since my departure?
Are you kidding me? The Red Sox have now won the World Series twice in the last four years? Way to go, Nomah!
Former Giants running back and three-time pro bowler Tiki Barber is a correspondent on NBC’s Today Show? Yeah, but I’m sure he does sports for the show, right? What? He sits around talking fashion and style with three female correspondents?
The Bears were in the Super Bowl last season? Oh right, and I bet next you’ll say the Bulls have only made the playoffs three times since 1998.
OPRF head basketball coach Al Allen is retiring after this season? And presumably with his vocal cords intact? That I’ll have to confirm.
Brian Griese is the starting quarterback for the Bears? You mean the Broncos, right? Then, the Dolphins, correct? The Bucs? No, really, the Bears? Wow, didn’t see that one coming.
After 88 years the White Sox won the World Series in 2005? So when did the Cubs win the World Series?
Kobe Bryant was accused of what? Michael Vick was banned from the NFL? Ricky Williams is where?
Mark Prior hasn’t pitched in an MLB game since Aug. 10, 2006? You mean the Cubs didn’t need him in the playoffs that year?
No, it’s Joe Torre who manages the Yankees. Girardi? Really? Well then, I bet he must have led the Cubs to a World Series, right?
Barry Bonds? Steroids? Career home-run record?
I’m utterly amazed, even flabbergasted by all this information. You mean to tell me the Iraq War is still going on? West Nile what? Cicadas invaded? Crocs are shoes? Who’s Anna Nicole Smith and tell me again why her death was such a big deal?
Pardon the interruption, but there’s a group of men and women in my room all in white coats. Oh my, the doctors are telling me that my vital signs don’t look good. If I allow you to continue to fill me in on all these new developments it could shock my system and I would certainly spiral right back into a coma.
So please, tell me more.
Contact: bspencer@wjinc.com
