Please Don't Wipe Your Nose on His Peaches

Whatever. It's gross.

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By David Hammond

We were buying about twenty or so "seconds" from Stover's, whose stand greets you to the right as you enter the Oak Park Farmers' Market from the main south entrance. We usually buy these slightly unsightly peaches – bruised, blemished and otherwise un-pristine – to peel and vac-seal for eating over the colder months.

Stovers had a lot of seconds, all for half-price, which comes out to about fifty cents each. Not bad.

"How come you have so many seconds?" I asked Brandon Dinges, who was tending the peaches.

"Well, some get damaged in transit, and people always squeeze them to see if they're ready to eat, and that can bruise them, too."

I've been guilty of squeezing a peach or two in my time.

"And I understand that people want to touch the peaches," Dinges assured us, "but do they have to touch their nose with them?"

"You mean," I asked, "they actually lift the peach to their nose and make contact between nose and fruit?"

Dinges, with a disgusted expression, confirmed that people did just that.

Perhaps people feel they have to touch the peach hairs with their nose hairs to see if it's ready to eat.

Maybe they can tell by smell if the peach is mealy or not.

Whatever. It's gross

So, please do not wipe your nose on the peaches for Dinges' sake, for all our sakes, including your own, because if everyone's doing it, you could end up eating a peach that someone else used as a kind of handkerchief. Gross right? So stop it already!

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