Cranky Man Complains: Trash Collector's Vengeance

"Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't after you"

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By David Hammond

About three weeks ago, I took a break from rearranging my sock drawer to raise my voice in righteous indignation regarding the poorly positioned trash cans in our alley.

This was not the first time I – or anyone, I daresay – dared to call into question the way our trash is collected in Oak Park: I had previously shone the bright spotlight of investigative journalism upon the tiny hillocks of  busted glass left in our alley every week after garbage collection.

Within hours of my post about the poorly positioned trash cans, my trash was collected…and my recycling bin horribly savaged: the top torn off and the container positioned…correctly! My ravaged recycling bin is now the only such container in the alley that is oriented – for perhaps the first time – in the right direction, with the lid opening toward the household and handles pointed toward the alley (the better to facilitate both garbage deposition and collection).

Coincidence? Howwash!

Trash collectors sending a message? You decide.

Paranoia? Perhaps…but in the words of the great Joseph Heller, "Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't after you"

It's enough to make me lose my apetite.*


 * Obligatory food reference

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