In the past year, I've faced several random attacks for my omnivorous dietary practices, including the following comment, on this very blog, just last week:
"hammond is by far the worst when it comes to cruelty. His posts glorifying his non-stop ingestion of every type of animal is both cruel and nauseating. But I bet if someone were to take his dog (which I highly doubt he has the compassion to have) and serve it on a plate and feed it to him, then (maybe not) he would be appalled."
What kind of twisted and diseased imagination comes up with the vision of feeding me my own dog?
My outspoken and unhinged vegan and vegetarian brothers and sisters, please understand that most of us – we omnivores – get it. You don't like to eat meat or other animal products. We're fine with that. Eat what you want. We'll eat what we want. We won't force you to eat meat, and we won't even ask that you respect our decision to eat meat.
Some of us will even agree with you that foie gras (pictured), though delicious, is tough to defend morally…and all of us – meaning every one of us – would probably agree that we should all eat more vegetables.
But for the love of god, please keep your sanctimonious preaching to yourselves.
In the past year, many of the anti-meat diatribes we – meaning every one of us – have been forced to endure pivot upon a single point: we bad, you good. In few other contexts would such blather be considered anything other than a solipsistic rant, narcissistic nonsense that reflects a revolting self-regard.
Absolute positions of any sort are silly, especially when they seem held for the primary purpose of chastising others while elevating oneself.
I'll defer to psychologists for a more conclusive diagnosis, but one senses that the need to accuse others of unforgiveable food crimes is, itself, an admission of some kind of secret guilt.
Make no mistake: I enjoy vegetables. I eat them daily (especially at places like Munch, run by gentle folk who understand that you can love vegetables without hating meat or those who eat it.). I just think you can take it too far, and you really need to understand that the very fact that you eat vegetables does not guarantee you a place in heaven.
You know who else was a vegetarian? Hitler.
We all know you believe you're living on a higher moral plane, that you're more spiritually evolved, etc., but please keep it down, would you? We're trying to eat over here.
Incidentally, if push came to shove, I probably would eat my own dog...and if circumstances permitted, I'm sure he'd do the same for me: most living creatures on this beautiful planet of ours eat up and down the food chain.
Postscript: if a voice from the opposition wishes to come forward to make their case, I will cede one blog post to them for that purpose. If you would like me to print your words, email me at David@DCHammond.com.
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