By Melissa Ford
Parents can spend a lot of mental energy beating themselves up for failing to consistently be “good parents,” especially when they feel challenged. As a parent coach, I help moms and dads work through those bumps in their parenting journey by offering new ways of “seeing” themselves and their kids.
Often, when I listen to a parent’s initial concerns and worries, I’ll hear a laundry list of things that parent believes s/he has done wrong:
- I lost control and just started yelling!
- If only I was a better listener . . .
- I’m incredibly impatient
- I feel so guilty not wanting to spend time with my child
- I know this sounds bad, but there are times I don’t like my kids
It’s important to express your thoughts and feelings so you can acknowledge your current “truths” and then, acknowledge what you do well by shifting your focus from your flaws and imperfections to your inner strengths. Try it!
List all the qualities, characteristics and strong points you possess
Write down at least ten strengths. What makes you the wonderful parent you are today? What are the qualities you possess that have helped you in your life? Give yourself credit for your attributes and then use them to become the parent you’ve always envisioned.
Are you patient, wise, playful, thoughtful, kind, respectful, funny, responsible, trustworthy, reliable, interested, curious . . . What are you inner strengths?