To create a perfect storm, ask seniors who's sexy

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By Mary Kay O'Grady

blogger

I figured a good idea for a blog about aging would be to ask fellow seniors who they thought was sexy. So I sent out an email to about fifty friends who I thought were over sixty. I eagerly awaited the answers. Nothing. Nada. Surely they couldn't all be ignoring me. Surely I couldn't be getting creepy in my old age. Then I discovered that I had only sent it to five people.

So I sent it again and got a few responses, but wondered where my good friends were. Then I realized that the tech wiz - moi - had sent it out without a title, which is a signal not to open an email. I sent it a third time and got responses.

It appeared that I had passed off my anxiety to several other people.

I talked to a good male friend who wracked his brain, but couldn't remember the names of the people he liked. I tried to help and we both laughed until it hurt. He did remember Susan, and as he said, "rhymes with abandon."

Several people anxiously inquired if there was a deadline because they needed more time. Others asked the telling question: dead or alive? One woman in her eighties said that she honesty doesn't think about it anymore, but did sent me a few names. One man finally sent me a long list including obscure French actresses and a few Americans that I thought were a bit young for him to be noticing. I've omitted their names.

I was stunned to hear from a longtime local community activist that "I really don't have time for this fol de rol.....too busy writing funding proposals and helping kids at high school. I do not consider myself part of this new mentality of time-wasting stuff." Along with Woodward and Bernstein, I lmust learn that not everybody appreciates serious investigative journalism.

Similarly, an old friend said she liked Ashton Kutcher because he married an older woman. Too political, Mary, not sexy. Of course, would I think Barack Obama was attractive if he was a Republican?

So here are the results. I asked people to name both males and females, regardless of their own gender. First, my favorite comments:

  • Jeremy Irons, for the sexy, alcoholic cool creepy type.
  • Sergi Lopez, the truck driver in Potiche, May's Tuesday Film Club selection.
  • All of Charlie Chaplin's wives.
  • Mel Gibson, before he was disgusting, ratty and batty.
  • Diane Keaton until she freaked out on the Colbert Report.
  • Meg Ryan before Botox.
  • David McCallum, from when he was in an early TV series, but I can't remember what it was.

Helen Mirren got three wistful leers and five women got more than one: Lauren Bacall, Judi Dench, Catherine Deneuve, Susan Sarandon, and Charlize Theron.

Others were Gabrielle Anwar (Burn Notice), Angela Bassett, Joy Behar, Halle Berry, Marion Cotillard, Penelope Cruz, Helen Grimaud, Glenda Jackson, Grace Kelly, Diane Lane, Jennifer Lopez, Joanna Lumley, Angelina Jolie, Julianne Nicholson, Michelle Pfeiffer, Vanessa Redgrave, Ginger Rogers, Kyra Sedgwick Maria Sharapova, Jean Simmons, Hilary Swank, Susanna Thompson, Sofia Vergara and Emma Watson.

George Clooney walked away with six mentions and Paul Newman Denzel Washington and Richard Gere had three. Those who elicited two arrythmias apiece were Antonio Banderas, Sean Connery, Colin Firth, Cary Grant and Jeremy Irons.

Other men were Alec Baldwin, Javier Bardem, Anthony Bourdain, Marlon Brando, James Dean, Jeffrey Donovan (Burn Notice), Clint Eastwood, Colin Firth, Mark Harmon, Michael Kitchen (yes!), Bill Nighy (are you kidding?), Brad Pitt and Charlie Rose.

Then there were the anonymous but charming ideals:

  • A woman who's tall, comfortable in her own skin, and likes beer.
  • The membership lady at the health club.
  • The usherette at the Harris Theater tonight.
  • The neo-viking Danish woman on the plane from Dusseldorf to Copenhagen.
  • Kim Novak's companion (female) in The Little European (a restaurant just outside Salinas CA).

Now it's your turn. No Kardashians or bodybuilders, please.

Reader Comments

2 Comments - Add Your Comment

Comment Policy

Maria Cooper from Berwyn  

Posted: May 26th, 2012 2:42 AM

Re: Jeremy Irons --"Brideshead Revisited" marked the beginning of my life-long crush on him. I'd add these actors to your list: Jean-Paul Belmondo ("Stavisky"); Daniel Craig ("Casino Royale"); and Gary Oldman (Coppola's "Dracula" and "Immortal Beloved"). Boo to the humorless harpy who referred to your topic as folderol; she must not be aware that blog content is expected to contain conversational, personal musings. One final note: your blog byline is misspelled 'senoir' on page 33. Thanks!

Ed McDevitt from River Forest  

Posted: May 23rd, 2012 11:29 PM

When I responded I utterly forgot 2 French movie stars who turn me to jelly: Juliette Binoche and Julie Delpy. Do any women I know in everyday life do this to me? Yes. Oh, my! Look at the time . . .

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