New Years Eve Is The Worst

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By John Hubbuch

Of all the holidays New Year has to be the worst with Valentine's Day  a pretty close runner up. Think about it. All the BBQ holidays are cool---Memorial Day, Fourth of July and Labor Day. Easter is kind of lame, but there is chocolate and jelly beans. Thanksgiving is for many a 4-day mini-vacation and Christmas is arguably the best with the promise of loot , family time and baby Jesus.               

New Year celebrates the beginning of a new year, but coming at the end of Thanksgiving and Christmas, we're just holidayed and partied out. Just how much fattening food, drunkedness and family anf friends can one take? And you can't just blow this stupid holiday off. If you say you're doing nothing on New Year's Eve, most people will conclude that you are a serious loser. All the cool people have to do something special like pay double restaurant prices for a party hat and a glass of cheap champagne,  or go to a lively party with the same people you've  already seen a bunch of times during the holiday season. And you have to wear a shirt with a collar.                                       

You must endure this orgiastic  ending to the the holiday partypalooza until midnight. I don't drink, and I'm an early riser, so making it to midnight is a real stuggle. By 10PM I'm  tired of it all, and I'm thinking of exit strategies: illness; check on the dog even though we don't have one; look for a spare room to nap; or just leave and endure my wife's wrath. I really do hate New Year's eve.                                          

Aah, but this year is different. My oldest son saved us by asking us to babysit the girls and their little  friend. So we'll eat pizza, watch Tangled and maybe  have a talent show. The parents are coming home early, and I'll hopefully be in bed by ten. I won't make it to midnight, but to paraphrase the Jimmy Buffett song--- it's 12 o" clock somewhere.                              

Happy New Year!

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