I Hate Oprah

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By John Hubbuch

One of my New Year's resolutions is to be a nicer person. So that means I only have a few hours to write some last mean things before the bell tolls at midnight. 

                                         

I've been trying to figure out why I hate Oprah, the world's most popular person. She even has her own television network. Now I don't think I hate her because she is a powerful black women. I like Michelle Obama, and I think Queen Latifah is cool. It's not that I am jealous of her fame and fortune. I have enough money, and I don't want to fly on a private jet. In fact I don't want to fly anywhere. Besides Oprah doesn't have a grand daughter. I do.                 

There are two main reasons why I hate Oprah. First, she is the High Priestess of Materialism. Her "Favorite Things" show where she gives away all kinds of junque-- purses and shoes and jewlelry  with fancy labels to  a bunch of orgasmic people is truly  John Edwards- disgusting. No wonder bin Laden  hates us.                                                        

Second, she is a fraud. Her message of empowerment and that you can achieve your bliss by just wishing it so is pitiful. Things may have turned out OK for Oprah, but you can't always get what you want. In fact, many of her listeners will never get what they want --especially if it's a Hermes bag. Her poor dumb audience reminds me of those folks who feel strongly about taxing incomes over a million dollars who are barely getting by running a little store on Main Street.                                                                                                    

That felt good. Now I need to practice being nicer. Let's see. John Boehmer sure has a nice tan. That District 200-VOP lawsuit is a great stimulus plan for lawyers. Pat Quinn is smarter than a turnip.                                                                                                      

I'm thinking resolutions are made to be broken. Happy New Year    

 

Reader Comments

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John Hubbuch from Oak Park  

Posted: January 22nd, 2011 6:17 PM

Having voted for Reagan,Bush Pere, Clinton,Bob Dole,Junior,Kerrey and Obama, I'm not sure if I'm liberal or conservative. But I believe all can come together in hating Oprah!

Left Wing Nut from Oak Park  

Posted: January 16th, 2011 8:27 PM

Harold, you must not read the WJ much. Mr. Hubbuch is a very consistent and fervent liberal...and you also didn't hear the left wing hate speech from the NY Times/MSNBC/Sheriff Dupenick in the immediate aftermath of the Tucson tradgedy. Open your eyes, ears, and mind please, sir. The truth will set you free.

Harold  

Posted: January 16th, 2011 5:30 PM

Why does hate speech like this always seem to come from the right?

John Hubbuch from Oak Park  

Posted: January 1st, 2011 9:59 AM

East of Eden is also a great movie. Too bad James Dean died so young. I wonder if he would have been willing to guest on Oprah's show? I doubt it.

DC  

Posted: December 31st, 2010 11:55 AM

I don't really care about her one way or the other, but I'm grateful her book club - via the bookstore - exposed me to "East of Eden" Thanks Oprah!

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