By Dave Coulter
Red soil, pale blue sky, and lots of elbow room. Yep, there's plenty for an old-timer to like here at New Palin, the brand spankin' new American colony on Mars. Those of us who made the list to fly out on the first passenger craft are pioneers you know.
Of course, we won't be going back to Earth, but that's okay - especially in light of the way things are turned out back there. Oh brother! I guess they really should have listened to those global warming nuts back in the turn of the century. I guess when the Gulf of Mexico rose all the way up to Houston and flooded the (Jeb) Bush Presidential Library is when folks back home finally sat up and took notice.
Oh sure, it's a little dusty and all that, but I'd rather have this than those giant mosquitoes we left back in Chicago. I mean, oh my goodness, the missus and I heard that malaria had made a big comeback there. And the Cubs finally made it to the World Series! Can you beat that?
Well yes, they did lose, but the White Sox has those pitchers, you have to admit.
The missus and I have a garden going here at New Palin. In fact, we're on the Garden Committee you know. It's a hydroponic thing, you know. They take our, uhh, wastes, you see and we use that to drip irrigate the tomatoes and what not. Sometimes I think I should just take a leak out there, you know, to cut out the middle-man, hahaha.
Oh, I do go on.
Still these veggies are important.
See, when they flew us out here we had to agree not to collect our Social Security. It seemed like a good deal. We'd be part of history, and they'd take care of us, feed us, and put us up. Heck, nowhere to spend money here anyways! But, the dome we're in is kinda drafty, and they're cutting back our food rations now. So that's why the veggies are important.
Tonight we're going to the cinema to see some old movies. They're showing that one Simpson's movie and Blade Runner. You know, stuff the old timers like. You oughta get out here some day.
New Palin is growing. Dusty, yeah, but she's a-growing. Just look at those tomatoes!