Bless me Juan Uribe for I have sinned

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By Marty Farmer

Sports Editor

Bless me Juan Uribe for I have sinned. It's been about two weeks since my last confession how much I hate your game. As a lifelong Dodgers fan, I never fathomed the concept of paying you 21 million dollars over three years to hit .204 in 2011 and .191 in 2012 with six home runs and 97 strikeouts, especially since the Dodgers have money to burn with a team payroll North of 214 million bucks.

And on a roster loaded with charismatic, chiseled stars like Yasiel Puig, Matt Kemp and Hanley Ramirez, let's face it you're not exactly easy on the eyes either. I always viewed you as the Michelin Man with chew in your mouth. I know your teammates fondly call you, "Papi" whereas I commonly referred to you as, "scrub."

I take all of that back after last night. Please forgive me, Juan. Trailing the Braves 3-2 in the eighth inning last night against Atlanta's hard-throwing David Carpenter, you launched a 3-2 pitch for a homer deep into the Los Angeles night after failing on two bunt attempts to move Puig to third base. Best missed bunt attempts in baseball history as far as I'm concerned. The clutch clout from Bani in the Dominican Republic's favorite son, sent Chavez Ravine into a frenzy and me into loud clapping, a tribal Lord of the Flies-like dance in my living room and later on (per tradition) blaring of Randy Newman's "I Love La" on my CD player. Best moment as a Dodger fan since Kirk Gibson's "I do not believe what I just saw" home run off Dennis Eckersley in Game 1 of the 1988 World Series which LA won in five games.

Will the Uribe-led Dodgers win it all this year, who knows? I do know this much. I will never take Uribe's name in vein EVER again. One more series to go to get back to the promised land for Dem Bums, and with St. Juan and the unbuttoned jersey with full-on Rosary wearing Hanley Ramirez in the fold, all I can think today is........I have seen the light courtesy of a free-swinging, cherubic Latin American Angel.

Whooah, we're half way there
Livin on a prayer
Take my hand and we'll make it - I swear
Livin on a prayer

Contact:
Email: marty@oakpark.com Twitter: @OakParkSports

Reader Comments

2 Comments - Add Your Comment

Comment Policy

Jackie Treehorn  

Posted: October 8th, 2013 10:09 PM

Umm didn't Juan Uribe shoot someone? And your asking his forgiveness? BAD Form! Juan Uribe is a pice of garbage. Oh and by the way the victim received a payment from Uribe as part of a settlement

Jim Bowman from Oak Park, Illinois  

Posted: October 8th, 2013 3:02 PM

Juan U. is a smooth shortstop, once caught a runner with a hidden-ball trick, When with ChiSox, where I learned to appreciate him. He's a funny guy, hangs so loose. Would be good in the clubhouse, I think.

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